It all started yesterday morning after a rough sleepless night which I assumed what the result of teething. Henry had been restless and upset during the night but there was nothing indicating this was anything serious. But then when we were all up and moving around we noticed that there was something wrong with Henry. He was limp, dopey, his eyes kept rolling around in his head and he was burning up with a fever. I felt sick seeing my normally active and loud little boy so quiet & lifeless. So I did what most mama's do in times of trouble.....I phoned my mum for advice! My gut was telling me to get him to the hospital, but I didn't want to overreact. However after reassurance from my mum & a quick phone call to my doctor's surgery we took Henry straight to Bristol Children's hospital.
The staff there were amazing and after discovering is temperature was between 39-40℃ which is considered dangerously high they reassured us that we had done the right thing bringing him in to be treated. Henry was then examined & we were told that he had a nasty viral infection in his ears & throat. Holding him down so that his ears & throat could be examined was horrible as he screamed in pain & looked so hurt that we were letting him be poked & prodded by the nurse. I had to fight back tears as I clamped him still. We then had to strip Henry naked so he could cool down & also try and get a urine sample. Henry promptly fell asleep on me & while watching him sleep in my arms the events of the morning hit me & I began to cry my eyes out! I know that all Mama's feel protective over there little ones, but after so many miscarriages and the scares during my pregnancy Henry really is so precious to me.
I find just being in the Children's hospital quite hard! I get very emotional just setting foot through the door there. When I was pregnant with Henry we were told that there was a high chance his heart condition wouldn't be compatible with life or that he would be very sick when he was born. We mentally prepared ourselves for the worst, but thankfully his heart abnormality wasn't as serious as expected and he is as fit & healthy as any normal child just with a slightly different heart. However we had to have a lot of tests conducted over the first few weeks of his life and spent a bit of time in the NICU & children's hospital. During this time i realised how lucky we are! We saw parents dealing with the fact that they have a seriously sick child, you don't understand the fear & desperation that they must be feeling until you too have a precious child and imagine yourself in that situation. You see them crying in the hallway on the phone to loved ones & then smiling and putting on a brave face for their child so that they don't see how scared their Mama & Daddy are. The strength they find in such situations is something that I have the post admiration & respect for, it's something that i'm not sure I would be able to handle to be honest! The idea of anything happening to Henry can bring me to tears & fill me with a dread that I have never known (and that's just me thinking of hypothetical situations!)..........my own health and safety means nothing in comparison to how much I care about his!
After it was confirmed that Henry had a nasty viral infection in both his ears & his throat we were given antibiotics and a list of things to do for him. They offered us the chance to stay in hospital with him longer, but we decided that it would be best to leave as Henry wasn't sleeping well there and would be more comfortable at home. We questioned this decision later when Henry's medication started to wear off & his temperature spiked again causing his whole body to start shaking uncontrollably! This scared us more than anything else that had happened that day & we were ready to scoop him up & race back to the hospital. However I tried to stay calm as the nurse had warned us that this may happen if his temperature rose over 40. We gave him a dose of calpol & started his antibiotics. Stripped his clothes down & gave him some breastmilk........thankfully all of the above worked and after 15 minutes he stopped shaking and started to perk up.
He's still very poorly today and the lack of sleep is starting to affect us all. I feel terrible about this but I find myself getting annoyed that he's so ill. I get frustrated that I have so much to do work wise as well as a pile of washing as tall as I am, yet my poorly boy screams his head off when I'm not cuddling him. How selfish am I right?! Of course he comes first, and I will do anything he needs, but the selfish part of me flashes up every now and again & thinks "This is the worst time for you to be ill Kiddo! Mama has so much to do", but then I remember that there is NEVER a good time for your baby to be ill.
So to all you Mama's & Daddies out there who have looked after poorly children and especially those who are living with ongoing conditions..........you are my heroes & I have no idea how you do it! Seeing the work that they do within the Children's Hospital and how dedicated the nurses and staff are there has inspired me to get fit again just so I can run the Bristol Half Marathon again and raise some money for them!